A few things to remember about the 20 year High School reunion before I forget (Not 100% accurate, I was wasted).
My classmate Dr. Liz who lives in San Francisco was on my flight. I told her a story about my sick dog. She’s a vet.
Jon recorded a video of Rob brushing his teeth naked while we were in his hotel room getting ready. He showed me the video. I don’t want to ever see that again.
Mike was wasted when he arrived and gave the bird whenever he posed for a picture. Everyone wanted a picture with him. Jimmy was chosen to watch over him, to make sure nothing bad happened. It didn’t work.
Mike L. asked people for a photo but instead would record a video of them standing there waiting to get their picture taken.
Jack would walk up to people and announce, “Hi Jack, no kids, not married” because he was tired of telling people he was not married and had no kids.
Brant was pretty philosophical. I heard him say to Bill who was ignoring him, “Are you drunk and being anti-social?” He also won a prize during the raffle, but it took him forever to figure it out. As they we’re about to give his prize to someone else he jumped up and shouted, “Stop right there, Sir!” He was really happy to be there and told us often.
Hasan skyped Robert. Robert’s Macbook was plugged into a large screen projector and the hotel’s audio system. He spoke to all of us in the room. He’s in the military. He was in Iraq. He was thrilled and so were we.
Then Mirwais skyped Robert and Robert hung up on him.
The blue haired, white mustached bartender was in the weeds and didn’t seem to mind. There was a line of 26 people at the bar the entire night. Mike L. phoned in his order to James who was at the front of the line but James didn’t answer because he couldn’t be bothered with his phone. The other Mike walked to the front of line, as all 26 people watched, and got himself a drink, because he couldn’t be bothered with waiting in line. The bartender served him because he couldn’t be bothered with Mike.
The hotel manager walked over to Rob and said, “That guy (Mike) is cut off.”
Carlos argued with the bartender for a stiffer drink. He measured every shot inside of the small end of his double jigger. After paying three extra dollars he finally gave in and gave Carlos a stiffer drink.
I told Mike and Jack at various points in the night that there was a contest for most wasted, and that they were currently in first place. They didn’t like that.
An anonymous woman arrived and distributed color copies from one of our classmates who couldn’t make it. They said, “Sorry I couldn’t make it, but I’m serving a life sentence for a crime I did not commit.”
Robert rocked the house on the keyboard with Bill on the guitar, even though it looked like Robert was faking it. At least that was what Jon was accusing and shouting while he was on stage.
Missy wanted to re-create me jumping on her back in our yearbook photo. I asked if she was sure and she said, “Don’t worry I’m strong.” I did it, and she was strong.
Robert put everyone’s complaints about the event (it costs too much, the food is awful, the bartender is a turtle, 80′s music sucks, etc…) in the, “I don’t give a damn” box.
Nicole asked me what happened to my hair and so did 26 other people. I told all of them, “It fell out last night while I was sleeping” and that I didn’t know what was wrong with me.
I told Pat he was Columbine before Columbine. Then I told everyone else that I told him that.
I got asked at least 26 times “Where is Max?” Someone showed me a comment they left on his Facebook wall that said, “Max where are you? Liz is pussed.” That’s really how they spelled it…”pussed.”
Robin told me I used to sit in front of her in English class, and that she remembers that one day I turned around suddenly and said to her, “You have a lot of sex, don’t you?” I don’t remember this.
There was an after party in Rob’s room. Room 721.
Rob posting a blurry photo on Facebook of one our female classmates sitting on a toilet – truly tasteless. Rob defending his actions in front of an angry mob of girls at the after party – priceless.
Nobody at the after party could remember Keith and he didn’t seem too happy about it.
Nobody at the after party could remember Aaron and he didn’t seem to mind. I met him on Friday at a pre-party and introduced myself to him and he said, “Craig, I’m Aaron. I remember you.” Then on Saturday at the reunion I introduced myself to him again and he said, “Craig, I’m Aaron and we met last night.”
Joe picked up a Texas accent after living there for only 26 days. Jack was sitting in a chair staring at his hand, clearly the most wasted person in the room. Joe announced to the room, “We’re all going to Del Taco…. and Jack is driving.”
John regained his Oklahoma accent that he lost when he moved to California, when he moved back to Oklahoma.
John and Joe made a Del Taco run at 2 in the morning without Jack.
Dr. Liz was making fun of John’s shirt collar and asked if he made it with a snatch bedazzler, which I only half understood. It was some sort of inside joke she had with Jenny.
I was sitting next to Dr. Liz on the couch and someone told her a dying dog story. Then Jack who overheard this story started telling Dr. Liz his dying dog story. I said to Dr. Liz, “Wow. Everyone must tell you their story about their dying dog. What a burden.” Then I told her a story about my dog that died.
There was another after party at Agua Caliente. Samia asked Rob if he was going. He said, “Go there and call me and let me know how it is, and then I’ll go over.” Then Samia asked me and I said, “Hell no. I’m not going anywhere and neither is he.”
When Aneka showed up at the after party Jack turned to me and said, “Is that Aneka?” and I said, “Of course not.” She heard all of this since she was sitting right in front of us and said, “Hell yeah this is Aneka. You don’t recognize me, maybe it’s because I have dread locks now.”
People left.
People came back.
Robert went on to tell everyone at the after party all his memories of high school, no matter how sordid and bloody they were. Then he bought pizza for everyone at 3am to soak up all the alcohol in our bellies. I love you Rob.
Jon broke the door off the minibar when he opened it. Which I’d seem happen 26 times before, when my ex-employer and I installed those minibars a year earlier in this very hotel. Rob turned to me and yelled, “Craig, go fix the minibar!” I hate you Rob.
Jeff wore Brett’s black leather Saks Fifth Avenue jacket to pay tribute to him. It gave Jon and I the chills when we put it on. RIP Brett.
Later on the jacket warmed T. who was upset with me for something I said to her 20 years ago. I apologized profusely but I’m not sure she accepted it, probably because I kept saying, “Wow you know how to carry a grudge.”
Bill sat quietly in a chair with a big smile and just watched everything. I told him that I admired his style and wished I could be more like him; drunk and anti-social.
Brant was the last one to leave the after party room at 3 in the morning, and it seemed like he wanted to stay longer because he kept telling us how happy he was to be there.
Well that’s what I remember. A lot of drinking, uncomfortable silences, fake smiles, hui calls, awkward moments, great moments, laughs, and even a few tears. All in all, an excellent evening.
Thanks a million Rob and everyone else for the good times.